If you are here, then you already know how important self-love is in our lives. It is about time for all of us to start practicing self-care more and to teach our children to love themselves too.
Before I start with this post I recommend you to read Why It Is So Hard To Love Yourself where you can find the most common reasons why people lose self – confidence and self – love.
Instead of enjoying life and loving ourselves, we live our lives for someone else – because there is someone who loves us (parents, a partner or children). We should do things for ourselves.
This is the only way to stop the chain now, become good role models and learn our children to love themselves and live their best lives.
You can’t love others if you don’t love yourself first. And there is no happiness and life without love.
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Where there is love, there is life. – Mahatma Gandhi
Always remember that loving yourself is not the same as being selfish, arrogant, egotistical, etc.
Many people don’t understand that they are wonderful, they are precious, they deserve wealth, happiness and all the love in this world. That is why it is very important to learn and work on self – development, and self – growth constantly.
It is easier for you to acknowledge and list your faults and bad aspects than the good ones but it is about time to change that.
You are wonderful! Deep inside, you know how to love yourself, but here is a reminder for you.
Remember that this is not something that will happen overnight.
Self – development is a process and I encourage you to enjoy this journey.
There will be many obstacles but don’t be afraid. Always remind yourself that you are most important and there is no one that you should love more than you! You are not selfish and if people around you call you selfish – they don’t love themselves either and they are selfish (because they expect something from you).
Every wise man will tell you that self – love is very important. Every fool will tell you that self – love is bad and that loving yourself is selfish.
The World and media are full of information on how to practice self-care and the importance of it. But, not every one of us reaches to found out and practicing self-care is just not enough for developing self-love and confidence.
OK. You accept the challenge to love yourself but what now? How will you accomplish that? I found this very interesting. I have no idea how to love myself.
How to fall in love with yourself?
Let’s play a game together. So, think of 10 people you like and admire right now. The first 10 people that you can think of.
Are they beautiful? Yes, No, Maybe.
Are they very smart? Yes, No, Maybe.
Do they have all the perfect traits?
OK. Now think of one person who is perfect. Only one. This should be easy.
Perfection: the state of being complete and correct in every way.
It is time to move away from perfectionism and start to move towards happiness.
The first step toward change is acceptance. The second is awareness. Read more here how to accept yourself and be aware. We can’t change our lives if we don’t accept them the way they are in this present moment.
If you read this post then there is a good chance you already passed this step and you are aware that something is wrong and it is time to change your life in order to love yourself. Try this exercise.
Write down at least 10 negative things that you are aware of. For an example:
I have sensitive skin prone to acne, I have 10 kg plus, I have cellulitis, I have crooked teeth,
Was this hard for you to do? It usually is much easier to write down the negative aspects that the positive ones in people that don’t love themselves enough.
So now, write down the same sentences but with “I accept and don’t mind that” in the beginning.
I accept and don’t mind that I have sensitive skin.
I accept and don’t mind that I have 10 kg plus.
Remember these sentences and repeat them every day, until you feel that you really accept and don’t care. This can take 2 days, or 2 months. It depends. We are all different and there is no one fit for all of us so don’t feel bad if these sentences don’t sound real to you right away.
I still struggle myself with some of my negative aspects, but I accept that and I know that I will figure it out soon.
Self -love is not possible if you first don’t forgive yourself.
Read more How To Forgive Yourself And Live The Life You Deserve.
Use self – love affirmations
I love you______(put your name here). I did the best I can and I am the best version of myself in this present moment.
Everything happens for a reason. I accept myself as I am, I accept myself and love myself, I don’t need other people to tell me that they love me.
I love myself and that is enough. Yes! I love myself as I am.
I am not my mistakes and I choose to be happy! Today I am love, I share love and I love myself!
Self-love affirmations are something that can change your whole life. While I was in high school, my mom used to write down inspirational quotes and send to me every week. I remember once she gave me a script from Louise Hay with a few chapters about psychosomatic illnesses. I decided to study psychology because of the book that I later bought.
Love Yourself, Heal Your Life by Louise Hay is my all time favorite book. It is not a book that you will read only once. No, no! It is special. You will read it again and again. Louise Hay is a legend, I respect her and love so much. She is one of the people I admire most.
If you are creative you can make DIY cards with affirmations and use them every morning for motivation and self-love.
You can find everything on Amazon now, I really like these 64 self-love cards with powerful affirmations and uplifting messages.
Surround yourself with positive and loving people
If you want to practice self-love one of the most important things to bear in mind is that your surrounding is very important. You can’t have a negative mind and positive life. Or, you can’t be surrounded by negative people and expect to be positive and happy. This is something I learned the hard way.
You can read books, motivate yourself, educate, practice self-care and do every step you can, but if you are surrounded by negative people that doesn’t love themselves, you will stay negative.
You deserve to be loved and surrounded by positive people that have faith in you and respect you!
When you have friends that love themselves they will remind you to be better and to take care for yourself. Positive mind – positive life. I used to spend hours of empty talks with my friends, crying and self-sabotaging.
But I finally realized that time is precious.
But what if all my friends are negative?
This is very possible. Although, we all have our moments in life, so if one person is negative now, doesn’t necessarily mean that he will be in the future and vice versa.
If all of your friends are negative at the moment, don’t feel bad to be alone. Being alone is the best thing that can happen to you because you won’t waste your time anymore.
Read blogs, read books, listen to motivational speakers, listen to audio books. Find several people who you admire and drink your coffee with them (while reading their books or listening to them).
This is something I still practice. I don’t always want to go out with friends so I stay at home and read. After this I feel motivated and fresh.
Some people can change your life so don’t be afraid to find them. You are wonderful and you deserve to be around wonderful people.
You don’t need those who don’t respect you. And positive people will come around soon. You are enough!
When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive. – Paulo Coelho
Set Boundaries – Learn To Say No
Something very common for people with low self-esteem is that they don’t know how to set boundaries and say No. Why setting boundaries is very important and how to do that is not a simple process.
Setting boundaries and saying NO are two different things and I think that all people should educate more on this topic.
Why do you think that saying NO is a bad thing? You are not selfish and a bad person if you say NO to something you don’t want to do. It is hypocritical.
But setting boundaries is not something you can learn and develop in one paragraph. If you are interested in how to do that, one way is to visit a therapist. A therapist will help you to develop good boundaries.
One book I really recommend is the New York Times Bestseller – Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend.
Something I really still can’t understand is why people pay more respect to a funeral than to a birthday. If you know please leave a comment down below. This is a question I would love to research and change.
People often forget to pay respect to the people that have accomplished a lot of things in their life. Their story is “trending” only when they leave this world. For me, this is really sad. Why did I mention this?
I want you to encourage you to celebrate everything in life. Start with your life, then spread the love. There is nothing more beautiful than celebrating and pure love.
Treat yourself for every little thing you accomplish. When you pay respect to everything, life will respect you. You don’t believe in it? Try it!
Why celebrating everything will make you love yourself?
Very often people don’t even recognize, nor are aware that they work so hard, they are wonderful, and they have accomplished so much. When you are on a self-love journey, you will have to pay attention to every little success.
Everything is a success. Celebrate every little success and reward yourself. Dress in clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Go out and buy new clothes for you. Many researches claim that what we wear is very important for our state of mind. Clothes affect our mood and emotions so bear that in mind.
After a while, celebrating every little success will become a habit and you will send signals to your brain “I am successful”. Also, you will be motivated and encouraged to be better and to love yourself more.
You are successful! And it is time to get used to it.
Start a journal
Start a journal with your positive aspects. Write down every day or week (if you can’t be consistent to do it daily) your positive traits, every little success, positive emotions, great things that happened that day, things you are grateful, etc. In this journal try to focus only on positive things. Positive mind – positive life. When you write down things are more true and powerful. As a great exercise is to write down every day one self-love affirmation. Writing a diary and a happy journal is a great way to focus on positivity and to change your mindset.
There are plenty of workbooks and journals online and If you are a more visual person and would like to have a fancy journal I recommend you this Self – Love Workbook. It is a guide to boost your self-esteem and find happiness. I really like it.
Practice self – care
The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself. – Diane Von Furstenberg
There are two kinds of self-care, one is for the soul and mind, and the second one is for the body. In order to love yourself, you should practice both.
Clear the body – clear the mind. Nourish yourself and never avoid self-care in order to save money. There are hundreds of ways to practice self-care for free or with little money. Self-care is always a natural remedy for treating so many conditions such as anxiety, depression, and stress.
Take care for yourself the same way you take care of others. I realized that I don’t care about myself enough when I became a mother. Before I had my baby, I didn’t care if my mattress was clean and of good quality, I didn’t care if my clothes material is cotton, if my skin care is breastfeeding safe, if I consume enough vitamins and minerals, etc.
I am so thankful my baby taught me to love myself more.
Schedule a pamper routine every week and enjoy it. But please, bear in mind that self – care isn’t just taking a bath, putting on lotion, putting on a face mask, shaving and lighting a candle.
Self – care is at least 8 hours of good night sleep, mindful eating, exercising or walking, relaxation techniques, and much more.
What will a person that loves himself do at this moment? This is the question I ask myself when I don’t know what to do.
Do I really need to explain why this step? Why waste my time and watch Netflix, when I can watch educational videos, motivational speeches, how to____ videos, or read great books. If you want to open a business instead of watching the new episode of your favorite TV Show, google how to open a business. If you want to be happy, google how to be happy. 😀
It is simple. I am all about fun activities, but I also think that education can be very fun if you find a way to implement it in your daily routine. People that love themselves are always eager to learn new things and to grow. You will learn to love yourself and be a better person through education.
Never forget the importance of education. We are so happy that we can choose what to learn these days. We can choose to educate on how to love ourselves. How to be happy!
When you will surround yourself with positive people, you will educate together and share books, experiences and beliefs.
Visit a therapist
You only live once so live the best life you can. If you did everything and you are still not feeling like loving yourself, please consult with a therapist. The best thing you can do in order to practice self-love is to find a therapist for your soul. I am sure you will feel much better and a therapist will help you to create a life you deserve and want. A therapist will help you to discover various ways to practice self-love.
Stay Positive and Love Yourself!