If you are going through a breakup then there is a good chance you are not feeling well.
Ending a relationship is almost always very hard and painful, especially if the relationship lasted long. Even when you were the initiator of the break up the process of change is hard for you too. There are a lot of reasons for putting an end to a relationship and sometimes you won’t even know why your partner ended the relationship. The answer to this question will not make you feel better, nor will help you find happiness in your life again.
Every one of us adjusts and go through hard times differently. The following steps are something healthy you can do for yourself, and something that is good for you. In my experience, often people try to go through a break up with negative thinking and often ”destroy” their life. Especially if the relationship was long and they don’t know where to start from. There are a lot of healthy ways to deal with a breakup and here are some of them explained through the normal process of grief and adjusting.
The first thing you should do is ALLOW YOURSELF TO GRIEVE.
Negative emotions are here and that is totally OK and normal. Let yourself to cry. Let yourself to be mad.
Your life will be better! You are not alone! Everything happens for a reason. As a therapist, I always recommend therapy but honestly, deep inside me I believe that motivational speakers will help you more. I believe that ending the relationship will lead you in a better place.
If you still love your ex-partner, you won’t see this right away. But after a month or two, you will understand me.
The first few weeks maybe you won’t be ready to listen to motivational videos or read self-care books. Don’t worry! After a long relationship, you will first need to comfort your body and belly!
Steps For Healing Your Soul And Body After A Break-Up
Let yourself to grieve
Cry! Yes, it is good to cry. This is a very normal process of grieving.
In the beginning, you are most likely to feel depressed, anxious, angry, sad and hopeless. Everything is all right. This is the first stage of shock, especially if the break up happened suddenly with no previous signs. Give yourself time to process and adjust.
Go to the hair salon
A haircut is always good for a woman, maybe new bangs, new color, different hairstyle or just trimming split ends. Take care of yourself. If you were in a toxic relationship now is the time when to love your body and soul.
Hair is done, now manicure and pedicure. Self – care is magical! Never underestimate the importance of taking care for your body.
Organize your wardrobe and clean your space from old, unnecessary items
Throw out all his/her gifts. Believe me, you wouldn’t like to see them anymore. Make changes in your style. You don’t need fashion stylist for this. Just put away everything you didn’t wear the last two years. When this phase is over, it is time to buy new clothes or make nice combinations of those you already have. It is desirable to use bright colors to enhance your mood and appearance.
Call your friends and family
You are not alone! Now is not the time to jump into another relationship. Just call your friends and go out. If you still don’t feel comfortable to go out in public, you can always hang out at home and order pizza or some other comfort food of your choice. Talk about stuff that does not include your partner. Fashion, makeup, work, cooking, weather, books, TV shows, beauty, pets, etc. Avoid talking about your old partner and things that remind you of him/her. Yes, I know there are a lot of memories, but also, I am sure that there are plenty more good and funny memories that do not include your ex-partner in the story.
Delete your ex-partner from all social networks
Why? Because partner that you loved will never be your friend. Maybe an acquaintance if the relationship ended because the two of you wanted to, but you wouldn’t read something like this in that case. He will stay an acquaintance with who you will say “Hello” on the street if you meet too close. You do not need to know whether he found a new girlfriend or got a new job. Focus on your life and forget about his. Social networks are not real life. Simply click Delete and try to focus only on yourself.
Start a new hobby
Writing, sports, yoga, music class, photography, graphic design, swimming, cooking. Your new hobby will keep your mind busy, will help you relax and learn something new. You will have plenty of free time now while single so find something you love. I am not sporty type so my choice would be writing or cooking.
Listen to motivational videos/ read books
Motivation is something you always need in your life. Don’t spend time listening to sad music! Don’t spend time reading sad love poems! Stop making a fool out of yourself! You are great! You are wonderful and you are the most important. Nothing in this world is more important than yourself. Be grateful about everything else you have in your life and stop focusing only on those things you don’t have. You simply can’t love anyone else if you don’t love yourself first.
After a while, you will feel better. If you notice that you grieve too long after the breakup and none of these things are helping you, it is advisable to consult a specialist or seek help. Psychotherapy can help you a lot in this process. Over time you will feel ready for new love without carrying the past with you. I hope this post will help you and I wish you find your soul mate and perfect partner soon! But most of all, I hope you will love yourself and see how great you are!