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I know what it means to be broke, but I also know that mental health is essential and you MUST take care of it. Everyone deserves to be healthy and happy, so I decided to make a post about the things you could do if you can’t afford therapy.

Before I continue, please bear in mind that consulting with a professional is a MUST if you suffer severe depression or other mental condition. Some of them require medicational therapy, and a professional will know what to do next.

This post contains affiliate links to keep our blog up and running! We are grateful for your support!
For more information read our disclosure policy.


What to do if you can not allow therapy? Tips from a therapist how to help yourself and live the life you deserve

Also, there is a stigma in the society that people that visit a therapist are mad, insane and ill. In therapy come people with severe problems, grief, anxiousness, depression, problems in their marriage, work or just because of self-growth and development.

I am not against therapy, but in my opinion, it is essential for us to learn how to help ourselves. It’s a skill that a great therapist will help you learn it so you won’t depend on therapy anymore.

Although life can be very unpredictable and visiting a therapist now and then is great, I want to share with you several things you can do to help yourself.

There is a risk to open some painful memory and issue in your life and don’t know how to deal with it. In that situation, a therapist is required, and there it’s not much you can do, except to stay calm and avoid thinking about that issue.

Find a training clinic or mental health center

The first thing to do if you can’t afford a therapy is to search for a training clinic near you. There are places where you can find free therapy. Psychology students offer free therapy sessions, and they are great because they are under the supervision of experienced therapists.

Also, search for a mental health center where you can find very cheap therapy or even free. If you find a free therapy, then you find a solution to your problem. But, if you can’t find a therapist, or you don’t feel comfortable to go in therapy, I will share with you other things you can do to feel better and work on your self-growth and development.

Give yourself a break

OK. You realize something is going on, and you can’t afford therapy. What can I do? Where to start? Give yourself a break! Don’t rush out with decisions, goals, tasks. It will make you more stressed that you already are.

Take a vacation if you can, day off from work, and find someone to take care of your home. Ask your partner to do the housework, take responsibility of the children, buy groceries, pay the bills. Sometimes these things will keep you occupied, and sometimes they can make you even more stressed. That is why I recommend you to take a day off and give yourself a break.

If you are tired, don’t give up! Rest! We often give up our paths and dreams just because we are tired. Tiredness is something completely normal, and it should not be an obstacle in the realization of our life path and vision, but on the contrary, tiredness is here to give us a sign that it is time to slow down. It’s time to take care of yourself and to love yourself more.

That’s why there is a break from work, coffee with friends, spa centers, vacations, holidays, parks, etc.


What to do if you can not allow therapy? Tips from a therapist how to help yourself and live the life you deserve

Make a plan

Еach therapy starts with a plan. Тhe therapist makes an analysis and in agreement with the client decide on what the session will be directed. It should be the same with a self-therapy. Make a plan and decide on what will you put your focus on. You can quickly lose yourself in your thoughts, and that is why making a good plan and writing down your issue is very important.

Another significant thing is that people have a vast number of defensive mechanisms, and although they are primarily aimed at protecting us, they can be quite problematic when it comes to personal growth and development and solving a particular problem.

How to make a plan?

First, you must decide what you will put your focus on. Then analyze your self, your strengths, and your weaknesses. Don’t be afraid of them, we all have plenty. Now put the focus on your strengths.

They are the most important. Focusing on them will help you make them even better.

On the other hand, create a plan for how to overcome the issue to live happier. This step is not easy, and that is why I encourage you to search more on how to make a self-development plan. The next step is to take action and start the journey. Prepare for bad days and exceptions on the way. Always put time for self-love and care in the plan.

The journey of personal growth and development can be very exhausting. Therefore I will again remind you how much rest is essential.

Journaling

As a psychologist, I recommend journaling (writing a diary) almost for everything. Why journaling?

Еvery day, whether it’s in the morning or in the evening, you do an analysis of all the things that happened to you, all the emotions that have emerged, all the unusual and positive events, but also all the places where negative emotions and stress appear.

In this way, through this analysis, you can accurately determine which things are right for you, and which are harmful and you want to reduce them or completely reject them. For example, that day you drank coffee with a friend, and suddenly you had a headache, fatigue, and a negative set of thoughts. What would that mean for you?

I would say that if this is something that is repeated, it is likely that this person is toxic to you and it would be good to avoid him. If it’s not something that happens continuously, then check if the conversation mentions something that may have caused such a reaction.

Тhis is just one example, but I think it is sufficient to understand the importance of writing a diary. The best way to self-analyze is precisely this technique, although it can be entirely subjective. Therefore, make a weekly analysis of the written, by making sure you read the diary as a third person.

I will offer an exciting way of analyzing the diary. Read it as a third person every week, but write down on one sheet of paper all the emotions you encounter in the journal. How many positive emotions there are, as opposed to the negative ones. What emotions prevail? What is your dominant vibration? When you spit this, I believe that self-analysis will become much easier. What can I do to get better? What is great in my life?

Find a support group

If you can’t afford therapy, you can provide a good company. I love support groups, although there aren’t much in the country where I live, and I don’t have a lot of experience with them.

Why? The members in a support group provide help, support and usually, they share their coping mechanisms. That way they all feel empowered, and they establish social networks. There is one great thing in the support group, and that is the fact that they can be online.

There is not much evidence how much these online support groups help, but for sure they are great for providing a sympathetic understanding and relating personal experiences. I would love to open a support group online, but I still don’t have much time with a baby at home. If I do, I will let you know to join.

Self – help books, blogs and motivational videos

I put these all together because they all have the same purpose. Books, blog posts and videos are here to inform you, to educate you and to motivate you. Some people love to read, some to watch, and some to listen. If you like to read, focus on self-development blogs, self-care books, and websites. If you are a more visual person, watch motivational and self-help videos, and if you love to listen, you can always listen to audiobooks.

I have to share that this is for me the most effective way for personal development, but also motivation, self-love, and change. But every person is different, and I can not say with certainty that this way will be the best for you too. I have experience with a client who was listening to motivational videos and came into a state of neurosis, which had to be resolved with therapy. Having in the background this experience, I must tell you to be careful with all the techniques you take on yourself, and therefore the first step in this post is to do everything in your power to find free therapy.

Of course, this is a rare extremity that has happened, and to a person who takes little care of himself, but in the next steps I will explain and propose a few things that you need to do in order to help yourself.

Something I noticed is that after reading a good book, I change the look of life. So when I started my psychotherapy studies, after the first book, I changed my entire worldview. And it is interesting how every subsequent one was complemented and continued to evolve and shape my character and view of things. After a certain period, I made a pause with my studies, and I began to read books on motivation, self-therapy, self-love, building a positive attitude, positive thoughts, changing thoughts, changing wrong beliefs, etc.

Precisely these books, when connected with my previous knowledge as a psychologist and student of psychotherapy, completely changed my life.
To be more explicit, I had the knowledge and practice that I did not know how to apply to myself.

Classical literature on psychology and psychotherapy focused me on observation, overemphasis, client affection, focusing on the problem, attempting to capture defensive mechanisms, etc. In the whole circle, I totally forgot to love myself and to make my life cheerful.

I do not say that the focus of those books is on the negative aspects, on the contrary, the initial goal of the therapy itself is to strengthen the client’s capacities, to understand the weaknesses and to achieve well-being. But, like many other things in life, more attention is paid to the bad, the negative, the painful, etc., rather than on the good aspects.

I do not know if you find yourself in this category, but I noticed how much more I pay attention to the negative aspects. I think that’s because I’m a perfectionist (although I’ve been working on the case for over seven years). When I started reading motivational books, books on positive psychology, habits of successful and happy people, I realized that I had forgotten myself completely.

How can I help my clients and guide them when I am very little motivated, moody and definitely dominated by negative emotions in my everyday life. I also saw this by writing a diary where I measured my feelings for a certain period.
 

Some of my favorite personal development books:

YOU’RE IN CHARGE: A Guide to Becoming Your Own Therapist
The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People
Conversations with God
The 5 Love Languages
You Can Heal Your Life
You Are A BadAss

Some of my favorite YouTube Channels:

Evan Carmichael
Pick Up Limes
Be Inspired
The Chopra Well
Amy Landino
Mindvalley
Brendon.com
Tony Robbins
Tom Bilyeu
Lewis Howes
Mel Robbins

These are the key things you can apply as a self-therapy. But, I have already mentioned before, only these things are never sufficient to fully recover and change for the better. I like the holistic approach in any field, especially in therapy. It would mean that living only in our head is not sufficient. I want to emphasize the care of our body, and not focus on the soul and the mind alone.

This is what I forgot about constantly while I was practicing for a psychotherapist. I always wondered, should I look good as a therapist? And the answer was always YES.

What then can you do more? I will devote the next part to some things that are often forgotten. It has been proven that some things hang out positively for us, our hormonal balance and well-being.

We are all individual creatures, and we have different needs, desires, and goals in life. That is the reason there are so many types of psychotherapy, various schools and psychology courses, different fitness programs, sports, dances, music, flavors, etc. There is no fit for everyone.

Try to live outside your head

Sometimes, the best solution is to try not to think of all that bothers you. I know it’s terribly hard to get rid of thoughts from a problem or thought that had bothered you for a long time, but fortunately, there are more ways to achieve this. All these activities are helpful to include them in the plan, so you don’t forget them.

When you live outside of your head, enlightenment can occur. What? Yes, when you learn from time to time to live outside of your head, you will feel what it means to be here and now, to be present.

If that presence leads you to cry, you cry. Do not collect everything in yourself, and when you try to stubbornly think, it is very often that these tears appear as a sign that they really weigh you down. Crying is healthy, necessary and useful for mental health.

When I mentioned at the beginning that you have to give yourself time, I think that you should give yourself time to cry, to allow yourself to regret, to grieve, and to be in a depressed mood.

Exercise

I know that this advice is being heard continuously, and it is one of my most hated when I hear it. But when I say to exercise, I do not mean just on classical membership in the gym. I mean any sport, and it would be even more fun if it’s a social sport where you will not be alone.

My favorite activity for relaxing my mind and body is a walk by the water. I’m lucky to live close to a river, so when the weather is nice, I want to spend time there. The sound calms down and gives me inspiration. Find a place to take walks; fast walking is a great exercise and much more effective than exhausting training. Also, picnic, hiking, swimming, skiing, they are all beautiful ways of exercise, and they are also fun.

Take care of your health

Having a balanced diet, drinking plenty of water, creating healthy habits. All these things are well known, and there is no need to write much on this topic. What matters to you are two things:

First one is to reduce alcohol, or completely quit it. I do not consume alcohol, it’s a psychotropic substance, and nobody can convince me that it is not. When I went to practice in the final year of college, I spent one week in a place for addicts. What alcohol makes to the addict, the family and the environment is terrible. What is most tragic, he can not give up and save himself because of the very reason that everyone around him drinks.

Alcohol is not desirable when you are not stable psychologically, and therefore it’s best to avoid it. Both, alcohol and other psychotropic substances, of course. This is not the time to seek an excuse of the type “I was drunk”; on the contrary, this is a time of consciousness and spirituality.

The second significant thing is to receive vitamin D, Omega 3, and vitamin B. Vitamin B6 is soothing, and many studies have proven its effectiveness. There is plenty of vitamin D in fatty fish like salmon, beef liver and egg yolks. Use the good weather and the sun whenever you are able.

Self-care

I have already spent a lot of energy on writing about self-love. One of the more popular posts is Why it’s so hard to love yourself, so I explained there the reasons for this, and I advise you to read that post. Here I will not write much of the ways that you can care for yourself because I also have another post for compelling ideas to practice self-love.

The only thing I would recommend is to choose one day each week to dedicate on yourself only. That day let yourself be lazy, make a pedicure, a manicure, a new hairstyle, a massage, a spa or whatever comes to your mind. Many times when I feel bad, I just want a good massage and pedicure. Somebody to work for me. I need relaxation.

Try alternative methods

I have already mentioned that there are many types of psychotherapy, and there is a good reason for that. Each type has its own advantages and disadvantages, and as time passes and I gain more experience, I realize that a mix of several different therapy schoolings would be perfect for every client. Each period carries different needs, each client has different requirements, and each therapy has its own specific goal. That’s why I want to encourage you to explore and learn.

There are many techniques that you can apply yourself, which I believe will be very useful. I will list a few who come to mind, but there are many others, and that’s why I want to encourage you to explore more. I am pleased to live now when I can learn, but also share my knowledge with others. You can find everything on the online.

In the first place, I will put minimalism as a technique, or way of life to try out. Clear your physical space. I remember, in the second year of my college, I had an excellent teacher in developmental psychology. I say excellent because she regularly shared personal experiences, and that’s the best way for me to learn.

That professor shared that when she began to attend therapy, she regularly dreamed of how she is cleaning her house. After a while, she realized that in the dream she is “cleaning” her mind and soul. This is something I would always recommend. Living with less is living with more.

Тhis year I’m working on the case to apply it to my whole family. It’s not easy to be a minimalist with a baby and a husband who has 20 pairs of trainers, but I believe I will be able to knock off other things.

Other things I want to recommend and leave you to explore more are music therapy, art therapy, yoga, meditation, and aromatherapy.

Of course, there are many other alternative methods that you can use, but these are the ones that I remembered. I am sure that if you apply all these steps your life will change for the better. I hope everything will be fine, and you will be able to overcome the crisis, but do not forget to continue to take care of yourself.

Stay Positive!

Also check:

The Mental Exercise That Completely Changed My Life
Happy Women Habits
How To Forgive Yourself
The First Step Toward Change


What to do if you can not allow therapy? Tips from a therapist how to help yourself and live the life you deserve

I think it is about time for me to share with you this story and encourage you to do the mental exercise that completely changed my life. It is an exercise from the book “YOU’RE IN CHARGE: A Guide to Becoming Your Own Therapist” by Janette Rainwater, 1979.

This post contains affiliate links to keep our blog up and running! We are grateful for your support!
For more information read our disclosure policy.

This is a life-changing mental exercise called The Next 3 Years. Several years ago this mental exercise saved my life and I still use it for personal growth and living the life of my dreams.

Yes, it is published in 1979! It is definitely not one of the new self-help books. But, in my opinion, it is the first book everyone should read if it’s on a self-development journey.

First, I want to be completely honest with you and tell you how I underestimated this book several years ago. A dear professor recommended me this book in the last year of University, and I took it for granted.

But, to have a higher score, my professor required me to do some of these book mental exercises. Today, I just can’t find words to express how thankful I am for having such an excellent professor. Several years later, I understand why this book was his favorite, and it is one of my favorite self-development books too.

The Power Of Gratitude

This book offers dozens of mental exercises, but I will share with you the one that completely changed my life.

I didn’t realize this until several months ago when I found my old journal where I wrote everything that was required to do in this mental exercise. I was shocked and pleasantly surprised.

The most exciting part is that the exercise is called The Next Three Years, and it’s been a little bit more than three years since I did it.

Long story short, since I become a mother, I am aware that personal growth and development are significant. It is not only about me anymore, but it is also about being a great role model for my child too. The first time I did this mental exercise I wanted to be a mother, and I am so grateful today that I succeeded. I didn’t even realize how strong my wish to be a mother was until I saw this old journal of mine.

I decided to do this exercise every now and then to consistently grow and be aware. Of course, you can’t change your life with only one step, but the journey of 1000 miles starts with that one step.

I continuously write about the importance of awareness and acceptance, but I know that awareness is not something you can achieve smooth, especially with so many things on your mind. But, these kinds of mental exercises are excellent because they guide you in awareness and help you to realize what is right and what can be improved.

You can easily map the great things in your life and concentrate on them, instead of the things you don’t like and want for you.

This is a life-changing mental exercise called The Next 3 Years. Several years ago this mental exercise saved my life and I still use it for personal growth and living the life of my dreams.

The Next Three Years

This is the last mental exercise in the book “YOU ARE IN CHARGE: A Guide to Becoming Your Own Therapist” by Janette Rainwater. I will share this mental exercise with you, but it is much better to find it in her book.

Bear in mind that this is the last exercise in her book and there is a good reason for it. I encourage you to start a personal growth journey, find a pen and a paper and write everything down.

Almost every mental activity requires mindfulness.
Breath and feel your body. Become aware of the present moment. Sit or lay down in a comfortable position. Imagine that you were told that you have only 3 years left to live.

You will be healthy in that period. Instead of being angry, use your imagination and decide how you are going to spend those last three years of your life.

Where do you want to live?
Who do you want to live with?
Would you like to work?
Would you like to learn?

Compare your life with the life you imagined to live. Find the similarities. What is different? Is there something you can implement in your daily life right now? What was most important for you?

I like to write month by month for the next three years. Every detail I can think of. 36 months.

Now, forget the thought that you have only three years left. Put that thought as far away as you can. Remember just those things that can serve you in the long term and make your life more beautiful.

Please, bear in mind that you MUST be in a healthy condition and consult with a professional before trying anything new.

If this mental exercise makes you feel anxious, please visit a therapist.

Write down everything you think is necessary from this mental exercise. I believe that this is the exercise that helped me to realize what I really want in my life and I hope you will too.

In her book, Jannete explains how this exercise helped her realize that she has always wanted to write a book. She realized that it is about time to write the book and share her knowledge with the world.

This exercise helped me to realize that I am surrounded by toxic and negative people. I understand now that I don’t spend enough time with the people I love and care about. But also that I love being a mom and it is about time for me to start living my dream life.

Everyone is obsessed with gratitude and meditation, and I am too. They are great for everyone. But also, I hope that people won’t forget to read more self-help books and try different mental exercises, such as these guided meditations.

I hope that sharing this with all of you will help you to live the life you deserve. Self-development is a long journey, and every mental exercise will lead you to a different place. The most important thing is to enjoy the journey.

If you are on a self-development journey, I recommend you to read The First Step Towards Change first.

Stay Positive!

Also, check:
9 Powerful Ways To Practice Self-Love
Why It’s So Hard To Love Yourself
How To Forgive Yourself and Live the Life You Deserve
Important Reasons To Love Yourself
Habits Of All Happy Women

This is a life-changing mental exercise called The Next 3 Years. Several years ago this mental exercise saved my life and I still use it for personal growth and living the life of my dreams.
This is a life-changing mental exercise called The Next 3 Years. Several years ago this mental exercise saved my life and I still use it for personal growth and living the life of my dreams.

EVERY day is the perfect time to celebrate love, and there is nothing more beautiful than to celebrate it with great love books. I have a goal for 2019 to read at least two books a month, so I made a list of books that I would love to read. So it came to me that it is about time to share some great books with you, and maybe encourage you to start reading more.

I have always loved books, and I really couldn’t imagine a weekend or a vacation without a book in my hands. Book lovers would understand me. It’s the era of videos, and I am aware that people are reading less because of the numerous number of videos everywhere. You can have fun watching movies, videos, tutorials, etc., but it is not the same as reading a book. Reading develops the imagination, and this is the main reason to read more and watch less. And while there are several good reasons why reading is so important, in my mind, the most important one is that it develops the mind.

In this post, I would love to share with you eight love books that will change your love perception and life. There are dozens of love books out there, and I am sure you already have at least two in mind. My list is very long, but I decided to be more precise and share with you only the books that have changed my love perception, but also books that are entertaining.

This post contains affiliate links to keep our blog up and running! We are grateful for your support!
For more information read our disclosure policy.

Love Books That Drastically Changed My Love Life. If you are into personal development and self-care, these books are perfect choice for you!

Brida – Paulo Coelho

The master storyteller and my favorite author Paulo Coelho is the one that I will recommend most here and always. His books are fun, magical, exciting and have a unique story that will open your eyes. The first book that made me fall in love with Coelho is The Alchemist. I was 12 years old and fascinated by the story. Although, The Alchemist is a life-changing book, the first book that came in my mind from Coelho that have changed my love perception was Brida.

Brida is a book about soulmates, love, life, and magic. About one soul in a different body. But, is it necessary to be with our soulmates forever? Is there only one soulmate out there? All these answers I found in this book at the end.

Adultery – Paulo Coelho

I told you that my favorite author is Coelho. I love all his books. In 2014 he published Adultery – the novel that many psychologists like. It is a book about depression, apathy, love, intimacy and much more. This is the book that I always recommend to people that has no energy in their relationships. Why? It is a story about a woman that explores what it means to be happy. If you want a book that is fun to read with a great story but also to learn more about love, happiness, and depression – this is the perfect match. Adultery is in my opinion, one of his best books.

Eleven Minutes – Paulo Coelho

And yes, the first three books on my list are from Coelho. But I love his style, and I love books that are entertaining but bring a great message to the reader. Eleven Minutes is very famous, and there is a good reason for it. Every time I read this book, I realize something different, and that is the main reason I put it on this list. Yes, I read one book several times if I like it. 🙂

It is a story about a young girl from Brazil who goes to search for her fortune in Switzerland. If you love books, please read this one and let me know what you think. The story is terrific, and Coelho made this book a masterpiece.

No one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it.

When I had nothing to lose, I had everything. When I stopped being who I am, I found myself.

The 5 Love Languages – Gary Chapman

Dr. Gary Chapman is someone I admire. He is the author of many books and I want to read them all. The Five Love Languages is the best book about love and marriage. His writing style is straightforward and effortless, and this book is educational with real-life stories as examples. Something I really like in this book is that it is eyeopening. If you want to save your relationship, found out what you love, explore love, and find out what your children like – read this book. I can’t express enough gratitude to Dr. Gary Chapman for writing this book. You can also discover your love language and even the love language of your child here.

There is something about this book that is very special and I know that you will enjoy it.

The Art Of Loving – Erich Fromm

This is a book I read in my first year in University that has totally changed my perception of love, The Art Of Loving by Erick Fromm. Erich Fromm was a social psychologist and humanistic philosopher. In this book, he explained love in details and how we develop the skill to love.

In this book, he presents 4 basic love elements: care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge. According to Fromm, loving oneself is not the same as selfish, egotistical or arrogant. Loving oneself is actually caring for ourselves, taking responsibility about ourselves, respecting ourselves and knowing ourselves.

I recommend you to read this book in order to learn more about love, unconditional love, and self-love.

Why We Love? – Helen Fisher

This book is not a novel, and not so entertaining, but it is beneficial and educational. Helen Fisher is an anthropologist and she offers a very different approach and research. It won’t be fun if I tell you the story, so if you are interested in love, why we love, what happens in our brain, and in our bodies – read this book. You will be surprised, and I am sure that this love book will change your love perspective a lot.

Being In Love – Osho

If you want to live happily, if you are into personal development, self-love and living a mindful life, don’t forget Osho. Being in love: How to Love with Awareness and Relate Without Fear is a book about love without jealousy or possessiveness. You will find much beneficial information in this book, and I am sure that it will change your love perspective.

Everybody is interested in getting, and nobody seems to enjoy giving.

How To Love – Thich Nhat Hanh

Thich Nhat Hanh is a Zen master and a spiritual leader. He is the best teacher if you want to learn mindfulness, mindful living, and self-love. Bear in mind that this wonderful man has over 100 books. Is it possible to love someone else if you don’t love yourself? How To Love will give you more answers than you can imagine, but also it is an excellent gift for someone you love.

These were my top eight love books that changed my love life. I hope you will find them useful too. There are a million other books out there that I am sure are great, and I would love to hear some suggestions from you. Are there any love books that changed your love perception?

Powerful Ways To Practice Self-Love
Why It’s So Hard To Love Yourself
Important Reasons To Love Yourself – The Art Of Self-Dates

Stay Positive!

Love Books That Drastically Changed My Love Life. If you are into personal development and self-care, these books are perfect choice for you!

Date – a social or romantic appointment or engagement. And what does it mean to date yourself, is that possible and why do we need that right now?
It’s the month of love and I really think that people often forget to love themselves and to do wonderful things and buy great presents (for themselves).

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness. – Robert Morley

Often Valentine’s Day can make you feel worse and remind you that you are single. But even if you aren’t single, it can make you feel lonely and to feel pressure. I am all about love and making others feel loved and appreciated. But I also want to highlight the importance of self-love and to share with you several ways to practice self-love.

This post contains affiliate links to keep our blog up and running! We are grateful for your support!
For more information read our disclosure policy.

Important Reasons to LOVE YOURSELF and The Importance of self-dates. Why self-dates are so important for your personal growth and development?

The idea for this post came to me after a meeting with a friend of mine that is never single. She is always in toxic relationships with “the wrong man”.
When I asked her “why don’t you let yourself to be alone, single and just enjoy life,” she answered that she is just so afraid to be alone. I’ll be lost she said. At first, I couldn’t understand that. But, this is something common and there are a lot of other women that don’t want to be alone and jump from one to another relationship.

Every single one of these women has a different and individual reason for this pattern. Find out some of the most important reasons to love yourself and the art of dating yourself.

In my previous posts Why It’s So Hard To Love Yourself and Powerful Ways To Practice Self Love, I explained what is self-love and how to practice it so check it out if you want to know more.

Another common question that is somehow connected with this post is:

“Why is it that I want people to like and appreciate me, but when they do, I feel like I don’t deserve it?”.

What would be the answer of this question? Low self-esteem, no self-love?

This is something very common and I think that we should all educate on self-love more.

Why Is So Important To Love Yourself?

In order to stop the chain and finally live a happy and fulfilled life of your dreams, you must develop some habits and become aware of yourself, other people, and your surrounding. Instead of “sleeping” on Instagram and watching beautiful, smart and successful women, look at yourself and see what you can do to improve the quality of your life.

You will be surprised

Comparing to other people can be beneficial sometimes, but most of the time it is a really bad habit that you developed because of society. People that have been compared as children and teenagers, develop a habit to compare others and themselves through their lives. And spending 1 second of comparing is too much to waste.

Who looks outside dreams, who looks inside awakes. – Carl G. Jung

This is something the great psychologist Carl Gustav Jung said a long time ago. I have no idea why and where (I would have to check in my books) but that is not important now. The way I see this quote is that people tend to dream, imagine, compare, search everything in other people, but forget to seek inside and become aware of themselves. We all have qualities, good traits, talents, blessings, etc. But how could we see them when we never seek inside?

Comparison puts the focus on the wrong person. What does she posses is not what matters. Who am I? Do you know all your qualities? I was surprised when I found out how courage I was, although my whole life I was comparing myself with my sisters (that are 5 and 10 years older than me) and in my eyes, I was a coward. The thing is, I couldn’t see that I am a very brave woman and I didn’t want to take risks and get out of my comfort zone for so long. I was also very surprised to found out that I am a great orator ( how could I found out this when I was comparing my whole life with so much older than me ).

In order to look inside, you must first have a desire to do that. So I encourage you to start a journey that will not be easy, but It will be worthed. Stop comparing yourself for at least one month. Make a new habit.

You will have more self-esteem

When you love yourself, you also develop a healthy self-esteem. Self-esteem is very important, especially if you are on a self-develop journey and want to live a happy life. Self-esteem is a trait that you must constantly develop because life is not a straight line.

People with high and healthy level of self-esteem trust their own judgement, believe in their capabilities and are aware of their weaknesses. But they know how to defend themselves because they firmly believe in certain values. Also, people with high self-esteem consider them equal in dignity with others not inferior or superior.

Don’t expect to be appreciated if you don’t love yourself first. Usually, people with low self-esteem are in a toxic relationship and very often victims (psychopaths target, etc).

You will forgive yourself and move on

When you love yourself you accept who you are and forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself is not something easy but you will get there once you start loving yourself. Is there someone more important in this world than you? You are most important!

You are worthy, you are smart, you are king, you are beautiful!

When you experience forgiveness you will feel happiness and real freedom. You did what you know best at that time and at this moment you are not your mistake.


You will know and follow your passion

A life without a purpose is empty. When you love yourself you aren’t afraid to ask for more and get more. When you love yourself you are not afraid to seek your passion and live the life of your dreams. Self-love will open your eyes and give you the courage to dream more. Ask and you will receive!

How to find your passion and your purpose in life?

You get in life what you have the courage to ask for. – Oprah Winfrey

You will be open to receive and give love

Isn’t this the most important one? 😀
You can’t love others if you first don’t love yourself. I bet you hear this all the time and deep down you know it’s true.

Many people don’t understand that they are wonderful, they are precious, they deserve wealth, happiness and all the love in this world. That is why it is very important to learn and work on self – development, and self – growth constantly.

When you start loving yourself, you open to receive, but also to give love. And this receiving and giving love is the best thing in the whole World. So prepare to love and be loved.

Where there is love, there is life. – Mahatma Gandhi


You become a better person

And the most important reasons to love yourself is the last one. You become a better person when you start loving yourself. And who doesn’t want to be better? Self-development is a long journey and one of the most important things is developing self-love and self-esteem in order to be happy and live the life you deserve.

Be creative and find more ways to show yourself some love. A person who love themself is usually happy and fulfilled. I really hope that people will stop misunderstand self-love with arrogance, egotism, and selfishness. You are not selfish for loving yourself!

The Art Of Self-Dates

Who says that a date has to be with two people? You can always have a self-date and enjoy more than to go out on a date with the wrong person. Self-dates are really useful if you are single, but also in a relationship and marriage. People often forget to do beautiful things and buy beautiful presents for themselves. In order to practice self-love and to enjoy love, I picked several ideas that I personally find them interesting and relaxing.

Be creative and make your own list of self-dates. These are some that I would love to do.

Self-dates are very important to improve your self-esteem, to have greater life satisfaction and to improve your mental health in general. Use self-love as a foundation to live happier life and to achieve personal development.

Today is the day to love yourself with no expectation! – Louise Hay

Tea or coffee – if you are like me, then you must enjoy a cup of coffee or herbal tea. I love to experiment with flavors and I always make tea while I work. Choose your best coffee shop, take one to go and sit in the park, or just stay at home and enjoy your favorite coffee. If you decide to stay at home, as I usually do, make sure you serve your tea or coffee in your favorite mug. This is the one I use, but I bet you already have one in your pantry.

Book – books are my favorite way to show myself some love. As a teenager, I used to read novels, but now I tend to read more educational books, for personal development. I don’t want to waste time, and there is nothing more important than education and love. There are so many books I would recommend you and I just can’t pick one. At the moment I read one chapter before bed and that is usually at least 2 books monthly. The next book on my list is Becoming from Michele Obama.

Sweet dessert – buy or make yourself a sweet, delicious dessert. You don’t need a company to enjoy a great dessert and just relax.

Dinner – make yourself dinner. Your favorite one without counting calories and healthy fats. Just enjoy the process of making the dish. You can experiment and try some new, exotic recipes you’ve never tried before. Just don’t forget to take pictures. 🙂

Shopping – I love giving presents, but I also love receiving them. But why don’t you buy yourself a present? Something you really love and would make you feel better. Spend your money on yourself!

Bath – take a bubble bath and enjoy!

Pedicure and manicure – don’t forget to take care for your outer beauty. Have a little pumper routine at least twice a month.

Exercise – great self-date. Go on one aerobic, fitness or dance class. Maybe you will start a new hobby. Why waste time on dates with the wrong people when you can invest in yourself?

Movie night – Yes! Netflix! Don’t forget the popcorns. 🙂

Picnic – I love nature and I think it’s a great idea to spend some time on the sun with yourself.

Watch the sunset – and also you can watch the sunset. It is so romantic and relaxing.

Make a vision board – take some old magazines or use Pinterest to make a digital one. It is so fun activity and be careful what you wish for. 😉

Meditate – find online lead meditations and spend some quality time. You will feel very relaxed afterward.

Book a massage – or some beauty treatment of your choice.

These are my ideas of a great date, but I am sure you already have an idea what to do. The most important thing is to always love yourself!

Stay Positive!

Important Reasons to LOVE YOURSELF and The Importance of self-dates. Why self-dates are so important for your personal growth and development? How To master the art of self love?

You are pregnant! Congratulations mamma!

It doesn’t matter if you are in your first, second or third trimester, I know that you just can’t wait to meet your baby. Pregnancy is like a roller-coaster, and the good news is that every pregnancy is different. It doesn’t matter if you are having a girl or a boy. Or twins! 🙂

With my first pregnancy, I did a lot of mistakes, mainly because I didn’t read and educate enough. But you know how they say, you have to make a mistake in order to learn from your own experience.

I promised myself that I will be totally prepared for my second pregnancy and in order to do that I made this list. It is a very long list and I hope I didn’t forget something. Let me know in the comments below if you have more ideas and tips to do before baby arrives.

You are probably thinking that there is not much to do, but it is very easy to overlook a few things.

This post is something I wish I had read before I had my baby.

What To Expect In The First Trimester
What To Expect In The Second Trimester
What To Expect In The Third Trimester

What to do before your baby arrives, Checklist

Why to DO these things?

When I was pregnant, no one told me that the first two months would be so hard and exhausting. I didn’t sleep, I couldn’t sit (because of the episiotomy), I couldn’t use the bathroom, I was exhausted and trying to adapt and learn to breastfeed, with painful mastitis (twice). Because I was so overwhelmed and also my beautiful baby boy is not that good sleeper, I really wish I had read these things before I had him.

I don’t want to scare you, only to prepare you.

I changed so much after having my baby, and these things are those that came in mind to share with you. Of course there are more, and I would love to see some in the comments.

I wish you all the best!

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Free Checklist, Things to do before your baby arrives

Things to DO before your baby arrives 

One of the most important things to do before your baby arrives is deep clean the house. In order to do that, you should pay attention to several things. Before and after baby your life will change dramatically. Before baby I often used to leave my house a mess. With baby, my house is a mess but a clean one. I clean every day! A clean space is very important for a baby, especially for a newborn.

At the end of the pregnancy, there is one symptom that it is common and it’s called nesting. You will feel an urge to prepare for baby and clean the house. One thing to keep in mind is that when you have a baby you have to be careful about the products you use. There are many non-toxic cleaning products you can find, just make sure to have plenty of them or at least for the next few months.

Another very important thing is to clean your carpets. Carpets are one of the nastiest things in your house so please clean them well before your baby arrives. Or, buy new carpets and have peace of mind.
Don’t forget to clean your freezer well, and also buy a bigger one if your current one is small. I still have a small freezer and I think it is about time to change it.

You will spend some time in the car too so make sure to clean your car, especially the inside. Deep clean your car and install a car seat for the baby. You can’t leave the hospital without one.

Don’t forget to buy a diapers bin or some kind of a disposal system. Diapers can be really smelly and one of the best products you can have is a diaper bin. And you will use it at least the next 18 months.

Same as with the cleaning products, you should have a baby detergent and also a baby fabric softener (if you plan to use one). I would not recommend you to wash baby clothes with the same detergent you use for you. Some newborns can be very sensitive so bear in mind that if your baby is sensitive, you will need to wash your clothes with baby products too.

Don’t forget to wash baby clothes and also iron them (at least in the beginning). I don’t iron all of them anymore, but in the beginning, I did that. One of my greatest memories is when I was holding those little clothes in my hands. I still remember the smell. I was so excited to meet my baby boy.

Also, don’t forget to buy soft baby blankets and wash them too. Find practical baby clothes. I know that you are all excited and would love to dress your newborn like a superstar, but hey, your baby will sleep, eat and poop. Yes…only that. Oh, and CRY. 🙂 Find some that are very easy to use, without too many buttons and I would recommend you to use only cotton materials.

It is very important to prepare yourself too for the first few months. Find postpartum clothes for you, bigger and comfortable. If you plan to breastfeed then have some breastfeeding clothes too. I have breastfeeding T-shirt, pajamas, a shirt, and a dress. Don’t forget a breastfeeding bra.
You will also need postpartum panties, and this is something you should include in your hospital bag. But something I don’t want to forget the second time is to buy bigger underwear. Big underwear will make you feel comfortable. You won’t have time once the baby arrives so prepare now. Also, don’t forget to take big cotton pads.

Also, pick a go home clothes for you and your baby. This was so exciting. When you leave the hospital, make sure to wear something comfortable but also cute so you can take pictures for Welcome Home Baby.

Set the nursery for the baby. A separate room or sharing the same, it doesn’t matter, now is the time to prepare it. Buy a new baby mattress and set up the crib. Using a pillow is not recommend for the first year.

For the nursery, you will need blackout curtains (you will thank me later) and a white noise machine (or an app on your phone). Babies tend to sleep longer with white noise in the dark. Also, buy a baby lamp with dim light and get a nursing pillow if you plan to breastfeed.

Stock on baby essentials. You hear this a lot I know. And you may be wondering what are those. Well, every baby is different and I can’t really answer this question, but I am sure you are doing your research. Have at least 10 different baby clothes for a newborn (0-3 months). You will change your baby at least once or twice a day in the beginning. Diapers are definitely essential. I recommend using soft ones for sensitive skin. Also have creams and lotions, baby wet wipes, baby soap, and baby bath tub.
You will also need baby nail clippers and a baby comb.

If you plan to breastfeed your baby then I would recommend you to prepare while you are still pregnant. First, educate on the importance of breastfeeding. It is not something that comes naturally, at least it did not for me. Breastfeeding can be really hard, so educate now. There are great websites and blogs you can find but also you can attend a breastfeeding class. You will need a breast pump, check if it is covered by your health insurance, and also milk freezer bags. I use the Medela Harmony manual breast pump and Lansinoh milk freezer bags. I am very satisfied.


You will also need bottles. I didn’t use them a lot, but if you don’t breastfeed you will definitely need them.

This is the time when you need to organize everything. Make a place for the new baby, organize baby’s clothes and make some space.

Visit the hospital where you plan to give births and make a birth plan. Who do you want to be with you, natural, epidural, c-section? Pick emergency numbers just in case. Also, make sure to attend classes at your hospital. They are very helpful. Make a plan what to do when labor starts.

Something that is very useful is to learn about labor pain and contractions. The pain is natural but women tend to tell scary stories and to exaggerate. Look out for late pregnancy complications and also be prepared for the postpartum body. You must remember that you are beautiful and your body is magical. It makes a baby! Hey, you are growing a little human there.

Prepare your medicine cabinet for the first few weeks and stock up on hand sanitizer. Never forget to bye a hand sanitizer. This was a life-saving for the first few weeks for the family, but also the guests. We still keep one around. Your pregnancy is the time when you have so little energy, but it is time to work more. You won’t have this much time with a baby around.

While you are preparing for the baby to arrive, make sure to have some ME time. You are in charge for that time and believe me, when baby arrives you won’t have too much time for yourself. Prepare a self-care kit for the first few weeks and treat yourself.

This is the time for you and only you. Life after baby is beautiful but very different. Go out shopping with your friends or ALONE. Buy things for you and only you. Go out to eat with your husband or ALONE. Enjoy the meal alone! You can focus on the meal and don’t worry about a thing.

Wear earrings; drink hot coffee or tea; put the glass on the coffee table; arrive somewhere on time and lay down all day.

Read books. Real books. With a baby, it can be really hard to read a physical book. Now, I read only digital books and listen to audio books. Something I missed but I really wanted to do it is to have a pregnancy journal. But, I am so happy that my sister gave me a personalized baby book that I really love.

Don’t forget to plan a birth announcement. Who and how do you plan to announce the birth of your baby. Look for some baby poses and plan for newborn photos, but also take more maternity photos.

Finish any house projects before the baby arrives. Painting the walls, new closet, changing the carpets, changing the windows, etc. Make sure to be ready on time. Check for any issues you may have. We had a problem with the windows and I am so happy we moved out from that apartment.

Also, this is a time for you and your hubby to enjoy. Watch movies and your favorite TV shows. When the baby arrives, you will watch cartoons. 🙂
Go on a date night with him. There won’t be any for some time and make sure to enjoy them now.

Go on a babymoon where you can make daddy feel special. Before baby arrives, discuss important decisions such as vaccines and also, don’t forget to decide should you bank your baby’s umbilical cord blood.

It is about time to pick a name. If you know the gender then it is easier, but make a list and decide before the baby is here. Also, download a baby application. It will be very useful for the first few months because there are so many things that only an app can remember. You will be in shock for the first few weeks and a baby app can help you understand everything. I didn’t even know that there is some condition such as baby blues, but I found it on the baby app.

SLEEP! I don’t want to scare you, but something I really miss, and maybe the only thing that I miss is a good night sleep. So, sleep now and relax as much as you can. Sleep deprivation is yet to come.

In order to have more time to sleep with a newborn, instead of cooking while the baby is asleep, prepare freezer meals now for the first few weeks. Also, make and freeze lactation cookies, you can find wonderful recipes online. Breastfeeding and sleep deprivation will increase your appetite so make sure you stock healthy snacks. You won’t be so excited to cook, believe me, so make a good meal plan for the first month or so and find a grocery delivery service.

It is best to pick a pediatrician for the baby now. Find a good one and make sure it is close to your home. Also, learn how to take care for a newborn, and it is always better to consult a pediatrician.

DON’T FORGET to find help for the first 2-3 weeks. This is very important and you will need help, believe me. Also, make plan B and plan C just in case. Everything is possible so plan B and C are here and you won’t be stressed if something incidental happens.

Also, make a plan to save money. Babies are expensive and it is never too early to think about the future.

Dear mama, make sure to take care of yourself and to practice self-love. Don’t forget to be the best role model for your child. Day by day, prepare for a new role in your life – mother.

Have a baby shower, and pack your hospital bag in time.

Now relax, and make your own list. Is there something else you need to do before baby arrives? And did I mention that it is the time for you to sleep and lay down all day? 😀

These are 90 things to do before your baby arrives but I am sure there are many more. With all these information, I really hope you will be much more prepared for everything and you won’t be too much stressed. Wishing you all the best!

Stay Positive!

Here is a checklist for you, just in case you forget something! Good Luck and have the best fourth trimester ever!

Things To do before Baby Arrives – PDF Document

90 Things To Do Before Your Baby Arrives, free printable checklist

If you are here, then you already know how important self-love is in our lives. It is about time for all of us to start practicing self-care more and to teach our children to love themselves too.

Before I start with this post I recommend you to read Why It Is So Hard To Love Yourself where you can find the most common reasons why people lose self – confidence and self – love.

Instead of enjoying life and loving ourselves, we live our lives for someone else – because there is someone who loves us (parents, a partner or children). We should do things for ourselves.

This is the only way to stop the chain now, become good role models and learn our children to love themselves and live their best lives.

You can’t love others if you don’t love yourself first. And there is no happiness and life without love.

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What is self-love and 9 powerful ways to practice self-love and boost your self-esteem. Self-love is one of the most important steps in personal development

Where there is love, there is life. – Mahatma Gandhi

Always remember that loving yourself is not the same as being selfish, arrogant, egotistical, etc.

Many people don’t understand that they are wonderful, they are precious, they deserve wealth, happiness and all the love in this world. That is why it is very important to learn and work on self – development, and self – growth constantly.

It is easier for you to acknowledge and list your faults and bad aspects than the good ones but it is about time to change that.

You are wonderful! Deep inside, you know how to love yourself, but here is a reminder for you.

Remember that this is not something that will happen overnight.

Self – development is a process and I encourage you to enjoy this journey.

There will be many obstacles but don’t be afraid. Always remind yourself that you are most important and there is no one that you should love more than you! You are not selfish and if people around you call you selfish – they don’t love themselves either and they are selfish (because they expect something from you).

Every wise man will tell you that self – love is very important. Every fool will tell you that self – love is bad and that loving yourself is selfish.

The World and media are full of information on how to practice self-care and the importance of it. But, not every one of us reaches to found out and practicing self-care is just not enough for developing self-love and confidence.

OK. You accept the challenge to love yourself but what now? How will you accomplish that? I found this very interesting. I have no idea how to love myself.

What is self-love and 9 powerful ways to practice self-love and boost your self-esteem. Self-love is one of the most important steps in personal development

How to fall in love with yourself?

Let’s play a game together. So, think of 10 people you like and admire right now. The first 10 people that you can think of.

Are they beautiful? Yes, No, Maybe.
Are they very smart? Yes, No, Maybe.

Do they have all the perfect traits?

OK. Now think of one person who is perfect. Only one. This should be easy.

Perfection: the state of being complete and correct in every way.  

It is time to move away from perfectionism and start to move towards happiness.

Accept yourself 

The first step toward change is acceptance. The second is awareness. Read more here how to accept yourself and be aware. We can’t change our lives if we don’t accept them the way they are in this present moment. 

If you read this post then there is a good chance you already passed this step and you are aware that something is wrong and it is time to change your life in order to love yourself. Try this exercise.

Write down at least 10 negative things that you are aware of. For an example:

I have sensitive skin prone to acne, I have 10 kg plus, I have cellulitis, I have crooked teeth, I easily lose my energy, etc.

Was this hard for you to do? It usually is much easier to write down the negative aspects that the positive ones in people that don’t love themselves enough.

So now, write down the same sentences but with “I accept and don’t mind that” in the beginning.

I accept and don’t mind that I have sensitive skin.
I accept and don’t mind that I have 10 kg plus.

Remember these sentences and repeat them every day, until you feel that you really accept and don’t care. This can take 2 days, or 2 months. It depends. We are all different and there is no one fit for all of us so don’t feel bad if these sentences don’t sound real to you right away.

I still struggle myself with some of my negative aspects, but I accept that and I know that I will figure it out soon.

Self -love is not possible if you first don’t forgive yourself.
Read more How To Forgive Yourself And Live The Life You Deserve.

Use self – love affirmations

I love you______(put your name here). I did the best I can and I am the best version of myself in this present moment.

Everything happens for a reason. I accept myself as I am, I accept myself and love myself, I don’t need other people to tell me that they love me.

I love myself and that is enough. Yes! I love myself as I am.

I am not my mistakes and I choose to be happy! Today I am love, I share love and I love myself!

Self-love affirmations are something that can change your whole life. While I was in high school, my mom used to write down inspirational quotes and send to me every week. I remember once she gave me a script from Louise Hay with a few chapters about psychosomatic illnesses. I decided to study psychology because of the book that I later bought.

Love Yourself, Heal Your Life by Louise Hay is my all time favorite book. It is not a book that you will read only once. No, no! It is special. You will read it again and again. Louise Hay is a legend, I respect her and love so much. She is one of the people I admire most.

Love Youself, Heal your Life workbook
Love Yourself, Heal Your Life Workbook

If you are creative you can make DIY cards with affirmations and use them every morning for motivation and self-love.
You can find everything on Amazon now, I really like these 64 self-love cards with powerful affirmations and uplifting messages.

Powerful affirmations for self-love
Powerful affirmations for self-love

Surround yourself with positive and loving people

If you want to practice self-love one of the most important things to bear in mind is that your surrounding is very important. You can’t have a negative mind and positive life. Or, you can’t be surrounded by negative people and expect to be positive and happy. This is something I learned the hard way.

You can read books, motivate yourself, educate, practice self-care and do every step you can, but if you are surrounded by negative people that doesn’t love themselves, you will stay negative.

You deserve to be loved and surrounded by positive people that have faith in you and respect you!

When you have friends that love themselves they will remind you to be better and to take care for yourself. Positive mind – positive life. I used to spend hours of empty talks with my friends, crying and self-sabotaging.

But I finally realized that time is precious.

But what if all my friends are negative?

This is very possible. Although, we all have our moments in life, so if one person is negative now, doesn’t necessarily mean that he will be in the future and vice versa.

If all of your friends are negative at the moment, don’t feel bad to be alone. Being alone is the best thing that can happen to you because you won’t waste your time anymore.

Read blogs, read books, listen to motivational speakers, listen to audio books. Find several people who you admire and drink your coffee with them (while reading their books or listening to them).

This is something I still practice. I don’t always want to go out with friends so I stay at home and read. After this I feel motivated and fresh.

Some people can change your life so don’t be afraid to find them. You are wonderful and you deserve to be around wonderful people.

You don’t need those who don’t respect you. And positive people will come around soon. You are enough!

When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive. – Paulo Coelho

Set Boundaries – Learn To Say No

Something very common for people with low self-esteem is that they don’t know how to set boundaries and say No. Why setting boundaries is very important and how to do that is not a simple process.

Setting boundaries and saying NO are two different things and I think that all people should educate more on this topic.

Why do you think that saying NO is a bad thing? You are not selfish and a bad person if you say NO to something you don’t want to do. It is hypocritical.

But setting boundaries is not something you can learn and develop in one paragraph. If you are interested in how to do that, one way is to visit a therapist. A therapist will help you to develop good boundaries.
One book I really recommend is the New York Times Bestseller – Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend.

Boundaries 
WHEN TO SAY YES
HOW TO SAY NO
Boundaries
WHEN TO SAY YES
HOW TO SAY NO

Celebrate everything

Something I really still can’t understand is why people pay more respect to a funeral than to a birthday. If you know please leave a comment down below. This is a question I would love to research and change.

People often forget to pay respect to the people that have accomplished a lot of things in their life. Their story is “trending” only when they leave this world. For me, this is really sad. Why did I mention this?

I want you to encourage you to celebrate everything in life. Start with your life, then spread the love. There is nothing more beautiful than celebrating and pure love.

Treat yourself for every little thing you accomplish. When you pay respect to everything, life will respect you. You don’t believe in it? Try it!

Why celebrating everything will make you love yourself?

Very often people don’t even recognize, nor are aware that they work so hard, they are wonderful, and they have accomplished so much. When you are on a self-love journey, you will have to pay attention to every little success.

Everything is a success. Celebrate every little success and reward yourself. Dress in clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Go out and buy new clothes for you. Many researches claim that what we wear is very important for our state of mind. Clothes affect our mood and emotions so bear that in mind.

After a while, celebrating every little success will become a habit and you will send signals to your brain “I am successful”. Also, you will be motivated and encouraged to be better and to love yourself more.

You are successful! And it is time to get used to it.

Start a journal

Start a journal with your positive aspects. Write down every day or week (if you can’t be consistent to do it daily) your positive traits, every little success, positive emotions, great things that happened that day, things you are grateful, etc. In this journal try to focus only on positive things. Positive mind – positive life. When you write down things are more true and powerful. As a great exercise is to write down every day one self-love affirmation. Writing a diary and a happy journal is a great way to focus on positivity and to change your mindset.

There are plenty of workbooks and journals online and If you are a more visual person and would like to have a fancy journal I recommend you this Self – Love Workbook. It is a guide to boost your self-esteem and find happiness. I really like it.

How to practice self-love and boost self-esteem
The Self-love Workbook

Practice self – care 

The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself. – Diane Von Furstenberg


There are two kinds of self-care, one is for the soul and mind, and the second one is for the body. In order to love yourself, you should practice both.

Clear the body – clear the mind. Nourish yourself and never avoid self-care in order to save money. There are hundreds of ways to practice self-care for free or with little money. Self-care is always a natural remedy for treating so many conditions such as anxiety, depression, and stress.

Take care for yourself the same way you take care of others. I realized that I don’t care about myself enough when I became a mother. Before I had my baby, I didn’t care if my mattress was clean and of good quality, I didn’t care if my clothes material is cotton, if my skin care is breastfeeding safe, if I consume enough vitamins and minerals, etc.

I am so thankful my baby taught me to love myself more.

Schedule a pamper routine every week and enjoy it. But please, bear in mind that self – care isn’t just taking a bath, putting on lotion, putting on a face mask, shaving and lighting a candle.

Self – care is at least 8 hours of good night sleep, mindful eating, exercising or walking, relaxation techniques, and much more.

What will a person that loves himself do at this moment? This is the question I ask myself when I don’t know what to do.

Educate yourself

Do I really need to explain why this step? Why waste my time and watch Netflix, when I can watch educational videos, motivational speeches, how to____ videos, or read great books. If you want to open a business instead of watching the new episode of your favorite TV Show, google how to open a business. If you want to be happy, google how to be happy. 😀

It is simple. I am all about fun activities, but I also think that education can be very fun if you find a way to implement it in your daily routine. People that love themselves are always eager to learn new things and to grow. You will learn to love yourself and be a better person through education.

Never forget the importance of education. We are so happy that we can choose what to learn these days. We can choose to educate on how to love ourselves. How to be happy!

When you will surround yourself with positive people, you will educate together and share books, experiences and beliefs.

Visit a therapist

You only live once so live the best life you can.  If you did everything and you are still not feeling like loving yourself, please consult with a therapist. The best thing you can do in order to practice self-love is to find a therapist for your soul. I am sure you will feel much better and a therapist will help you to create a life you deserve and want. A therapist will help you to discover various ways to practice self-love.

Stay Positive and Love Yourself!

What is self-love and 9 powerful ways to practice self-love and boost your self-esteem. Self-love is one of the most important steps in personal development

Next month is Valentines Day and “love is in the air”, so I think answering the question “why it is so hard to love yourself” it is a great idea for a new post. This year I want to write more about motivation, self-care, self-love, and self-development, so this is the question that came on my mind and I think is the perfect time for it.

To be honest with you, this was something very hard for me to overcome in my life, but I finally feel ready to share with you some stories and try to answer you this common question.

First of all, before I start with this post I want you to know that I believe that every one of us is special and we are all different in so many ways. There is no one fit for everyone and not every reason is true for every one of us. So please bear in mind that these may not be true for you.

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Why it's so hard to love yourself and how to finally start loving yourself and live the life you deserve?

Parenting style

Every parent has a different parenting style but some things are common for most of them. Right and wrong are constantly changing and two generations before us, parenting wasn’t the same as today. The world is developing so as parenting. Nowadays, most parents are eager to learn how to be better. This is the era of personal development and awareness so I am very glad I live now.

But although many things are different than before, some things are the same. If you are a good kid, mama loves you. If you do something that mama don’t approve, you are a bad kid and mama and papa won’t love you anymore.

Kids are afraid of losing the love of their parents and while this is totally normal for parents to do in order to teach their baby and kid how to live, there is a possibility that kid to think that it is not loved and good enough if do or love something that is not “allowed” by his parents, friends, society, etc.

Right and wrong

Good and bad change. Right and wrong change. What is right in this present moment doesn’t necessarily mean it would be right in the future. The most important people in history were different. They were innovators and didn’t care about others.

They believed in themselves and didn’t need approval in order to be accepted and loved by others. Well, they knew some secret I guess. 🙂

Everyone is against selfishness and egoism and I am afraid to show myself some love in order to look modest. Is this familiar with you? How thin is the line between selfishness and self-love? Very often people mistake these things. Self – love is somehow “bad”.

Is it better to love yourself more and to think that you are better than you really are, or to be a great person and to think that you are not.”

But in my society people that are self-confident are seen as bad. I feel sorry when I meet someone great with low self – confidence.

Modesty is in fashion! I am not against modesty. I think that it is very important to be satisfied with what you have. But I also think that it is great to want more. When we want more, we are eager to learn and to grow. There is no development without a desire.

I think that many people think that they are not modest and selfish if they want more, so they develop a bad image for themselves. It is time to break those believes that self-love is bad.

Self Love Conception

This is a book I read in my first year in University that totally changed my perception of love, The Art Of Loving by Erick Fromm. Erich Fromm was a social psychologist and humanistic philosopher. In this book, he explained love in details and how we develop the skill to love.

The Art Of Loving by Erich Fromm - Learn How to love yourself 
You can't love another if you first don't love yourself
The Art of Loving – Erich Fromm

In this book, he presents 4 basic love elements: care, responsibility, respect and knowledge. According to Fromm, loving oneself is not the same as selfish, egotistical or arrogant. Loving oneself is actually caring for ourselves, taking responsibility about ourselves, respecting ourselves and knowing ourselves.

I recommend you to read this book in order to learn more about love, unconditional love, and self-love.

Expectations

In this world we are living, there are so many expectations and I think that this is one very big problem for the whole society. People always compare with others. Body, clothes, job, kids, income, house, cars, social status, followers, likes, views, votes…

We overdosed with all those expectations that we forget that the most important things are happiness and peace. Those same expectations are one of the reasons why we don’t love ourselves.

We “have” to have certain needs in order to be and feel lovable. So for example, I wasn’t feeling lovable in the past because I was overweight. Classmates were often bulling me. They called me Piggy in high school. I simply couldn’t love my body because someone else was telling me it is not beautiful.

There were other overweight girls too that felt great in their body and I couldn’t understand them. Now I do. 🙂

I know many students that had very low self – confidence because their grades were low.

Hello! Einstein was a bad student and he was a genius!

Nobody is perfect, but everyone deserves to be loved. You deserve to love yourself! And don’t expect to be loved if you first don’t love yourself!

Forgiveness    

In my post How To Forgive Yourself, I explained in details the steps you need to take in order to forgive yourself and live the life you deserve. Yes. You deserve to be happy and live in peace. There is a thin line between forgiving yourself and loving yourself. In order to love yourself, you need to forgive yourself. Can you love someone and be mad at him at the same time?

Probably yes, but is that really love? Think about it!
If the first step toward change is awareness, then the second is acceptance. And did you accept if you didn’t forgive yourself? No! Acceptance is forgiveness.

Your past is not important. The only thing that is important is what kind of a person your past made you.

You are not what you did in your past. Remember that you did what you thought was best at that time. But sometimes it is very hard to accept everything and forgive. I know that I’ve been there. If you are stuck then I recommend you to check How To Forgive Yourself.


Unconditional Love

Do you love yourself unconditionally? I didn’t know the meaning of unconditional love until I met my baby boy. But I wish I did many years ago. My baby taught me how to love myself unconditionally and to accept myself, my soul, my feelings, my thoughts, and my body.

In order to do this, you first must accept yourself. You can learn more about unconditional love in the book I recommended by Erick Fromm – The art of loving. Don’t forget that self – development is something that requires energy, knowledge, strength, and time.

Why don’t we love ourselves unconditionally? I think that the roots are in our childhood. We set high standards, goals, and expectation, but forget to remind ourselves that we are good enough without them. Parents with low self – confidence can’t teach their children to love themselves. They are not a good role model. Stop the circle now!

Bad events

Almost everybody experience at least one bad event that could make them feel bad about themselves. I can never forget my history teacher in elementary school. She was a monster! I had fever and couldn’t sleep three days from crying and so much stress. She was yelling at me in front of the class for no particular reason and I was so stressed that I started shaking.

I tried to defend myself but I couldn’t. She was very loud. From that day on, I never ever wanted to speak in front of other people, I was so scared to give my opinion and to raise my hand and participate in school.

Who are your friends?

Are you surrounded by positive friends that have faith in you and respect you? When I was surrounded with friends with low self – confidence that doesn’t love themselves I didn’t love myself either. Why? They didn’t respect me, they didn’t have faith in me and they didn’t want me to be better and successful.

When people around you are negative, you become negative too. We are not meant to be lonely and alone in this world. The problem is when you don’t love yourself you don’t have the courage to search for people that love you and respect you. People that have the same values as you.

How to love yourself?

So these are some of the most common reasons people lose self – confidence and self – love. Of course, there are always more reasons and I did mention in the beginning that we are all different and special. We all have special goals, needs, and paths.

You can’t love others if you don’t love yourself first. And there is no happiness and life without love. Remember, loving yourself is not the same as selfish, arrogant, egotistical, etc.

Many people don’t understand that they are wonderful, they are precious, they deserve wealth and happiness. That is why it is very important to learn and work on self – development and growth.

It is easier for you to acknowledge and list your faults and bad aspects than the good ones. You are wonderful! Deep inside, you know how to love yourself, but here is a reminder for you. Remember that this is not something that will happen overnight. Self – development is a process and I encourage you to enjoy this journey.

There will be many obstacles but don’t be afraid. Always remind yourself that you are most important and there is no one that you should love more than you! You are not selfish and if people around you call you selfish – they don’t love themselves either and they are the one that are selfish (because they expect something from you). Every wise man will tell you that self – love is very important. Every fool will tell you that self – love is bad.

You can change yourself and be happy! Just remember that YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.

Accept yourself 

The first step toward change is acceptance. The second is awareness. Read more here how to accept yourself and be aware.

When you are aware of things and accept how they are – you will have the power to change them! When you take the responsibility in your hand you can change everything.

We can’t change our lives if we don’t accept them the way they are in this present moment. 

Forgive yourself

Why is important to forgive yourself in order to go on with your life? Read more here about forgiveness and living the life you deserve. You are not what you did in your past. Remember that you did what you thought was best at that time.

Use self – love affirmations

I love you______(put your name here). I did the best I can and I am the best version of myself in this present moment.

Everything happens for a reason. I accept myself as I am, I accept myself and love myself, I don’t need other people to tell me that they love me.

I love myself and that is enough. Yes! I love myself as I am.

I am not my mistakes and I choose to be happy! Today I am love, I share love and I love myself!

Surround yourself with positive and loving people

You deserve to be loved and surrounded by positive people that have faith in you and respect you!

Celebrate every success 

Everything is a success. Celebrate every little success and reward yourself. Smile!

Visit a therapist

You only live once so live the best life you can.  If you did everything and you are still not feeling well, please consult with a therapist. I am sure you will feel much better and a therapist will help you to create a life you deserve and want.

For more questions feel free to contact me.

Stay Positive!

Why it is so hard to love yourself and how to finally start loving yourself and live the life you deserve

When I am in a rush I always tend to cook eggs. There are a lots of recipes that include eggs and I would love to share with you some of my favorite egg recipes that are very fast and easy to make, and what is most important, they are tasty and delicious.

If you are a mom then there is a good chance you run out of ideas what to cook for breakfast. We all hear that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Yes, I do agree with that. But I do agree that most of the time I have no idea what to cook or I am so over the same thing on and on again.

The first reason I started writing this post is that I needed a reminder with several breakfast recipes for me and my family.  I realized that most of the recipes on my list include eggs and I came up with the idea to make a post about easy and fast egg breakfast ideas.

Also, I can easily include these recipes in weight loss diet because they don’t have too many calories. Indeed, they are low in calorie and high in protein.

3 TOP REASONS why you should eat eggs!

1. Eggs are very nutritious, they contain the highest biological value for protein, vitamin B, vitamin D, selenium, iron, zinc, folic acid, etc. 

2. They are low in calories – isn’t this the perfect food for a diet? Yes, eggs can help you lose weight. They are low in calorie but they will keep you full for a long time. One medium egg has only 70 kcal.

3. They are high in protein – they provide the best quality protein that our bodies use to build new tissue. One egg contains 6 grams of high quality protein.

I have an obsession with eggs so these eggs recipes are one of the favorites that I love to make for breakfast, but they are perfect for lunch and dinner too.

Egg Frittata

Ingredients:

  • 6 eggs
  • 200 ml milk
  • 150 g hard goat cheese
  • 250 g mixed vegetables by your choice (carrot, corn, peas, spinach, potato, broccoli, leek, zucchini, pepper, spring onion, etc)
  • 20 g olives
  • Salt&Pepper
  • 1 Tbsp vegetable oil

Directions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 220ºC
  2. In a bowl mix the eggs, milk, salt and pepper, then add the vegetables and olives. Crush the goat cheese and add it to the mixture
  3. Grease a pan or a muffin tin with a vegetable oil. Pour the mixture (two thirds full in a muffin tin)
  4. Bake for 25 minutes or until the frittata is fully baked (insert toothpick or a small knife in the middle to check).

You can serve the frittata with wholewheat bread and yogurt for a whole meal. This recipe is very practical for taking it to work or for packing it to the children for school meal.

You can experiment with the quantity ratios between the eggs and the vegetables, so depending on your preferences you can put or less vegetables. However this recipe makes a perfect meal full of protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals.

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Pancakes 

Ingredients:

  • 1 egg
  • 1/4 cup rolled oatmeal
  • 1 ripe banana (mashed)
  • 1 tsp vegetable oil
  • Honey (optional)
  • Fruit by choice

Directions:

  1. In a bowl whisk the egg with a fork, add the rolled oats and mashed banana and mix well. Also you can put everything in a blender if you want smoother batter
  2. Heat a frying pan over medium heat with a little bit of vegetable oil to prevent sticking
  3. Fry spoonfuls of the batter until golden brown on both sides
  4. Serve the pancakes with honey, or other sweetener by your choice and with lots of fruit.

There are million pancake recipes, but this is the one if you are on a weight loss journey, or if you want to eat healthily. This recipe is very popular and simple and it doesn’t require much ingredients, or time to prepare it.

Cottage Cheese With Eggs

Ingredients:

  • 3 eggs
  • 170 g cottage cheese
  • 1 tsp vegetable oil
  • Salt&Pepper

Directions:

  1. Beat the eggs with a fork in a bowl
  2. Add salt, pepper or other spices by your choice
  3. Add the cottage cheese and mix well
  4. Heat a frying pan over medium heat with a little bit of vegetable oil
  5. Add the mixture in the pan and continuously mix it with a spoon
  6. After the liquid is evaporated remove the pan from the heat and serve.

Serve this tasty and very easy to make dish with tomato, wholewheat bread and yogurt.

Summer Egg Stew

Ingredients:

  • 1 onion
  • 3 medium tomatoes
  • 3 green peppers
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 clove garlic
  • 1 tsp vegetable oil
  • Salt&Pepper

Directions:

  1. Cut onion, tomatoes, garlic and pepper
  2. Heat a frying pan over medium heat with a little bit of vegetable oil
  3. Add the onion and fry until it’s soft. Add the other vegetables and cook until the water from the tomatoes is evaporated
  4. Whisk the eggs with a fork in a bowl with a little bit of salt and pepper and add them in the vegetable mixture. Stir with a spoon until the eggs are fully cooked.

This is a great dish for the summer days, when there are tons of fresh and ripe tomatoes. Serve this summer stew with piece of white cheese and wholewheat bread.

Omelet

Ingredients:

  • 3 eggs
  • 100 g cheese (any type you like)
  • 1 tsp vegetable oil/butter

Directions:

  • In a bowl whisk the eggs with a fork and add salt and pepper to taste
  • Heat a frying pan with a little bit of vegetable oil or butter on a medium heat. Add the whisked eggs and let it cook
  • When the top surface of eggs is thickened and no visible liquid egg remains, add grated cheese by your choice. You can also add filling by your choice (spinach, bacon, olives, tomatoes, spring onion, mushrooms, etc)
  • Fold the omelet in half with turner and slide it on a serving plate.

I usually make the omelet only with white hard cheese and serve it with fresh vegetables after it’s cooked (tomato, cucumber, radish, parsley, etc).

Easy Egg Recipes

Hard-Cooked Eggs

Place the eggs in a large saucepan with water and bring to boil over a high heat. Remove the pan from the heat, cover it and let it sit around 10 minutes. Drain water and place the eggs under cool running water. Peel the eggs and serve them. You can serve them with vegetables, cheese, bacon, bread etc. I usually put them in salads, boiled potatoes, sandwiches, pasta, serve them as deviled eggs, etc.

Hard boiled eggs in the shell can last in the fridge up to one week. That’s why I boil more eggs and whenever I’m in hurry I can use the eggs for a quick meal.

Scrambled eggs

Ingredients:

  • 3 Eggs
  • ¼ cup Milk
  • 1tsp vegetable oil/butter
  • Salt&Pepper

Directions:

  • Whisk the eggs in a bowl and add the milk, salt, and pepper and mix
  • Heat vegetable oil or butter in a pan over medium heat and pour in the egg mixture. Let it sit until the very edges look like they are about to set, then stir using a spoon or spatula until soft curds form
  • Cook until eggs are thickened and no visible liquid egg remains, but the eggs are not too dry.

This is a very simple recipe, and it can have many different variations, depending on your taste. I always eat scrambled eggs with wholewheat bread, fresh vegetables and cheese or yogurt.

Fried Eggs

First, start with a hot nonstick skillet on medium heat. Put vegetable oil or butter. Crack the eggs and pour them in the pan. Be careful with the yolk. Now, wait. The longer you cook the eggs, the harder the yolk will be, so if you want a medium yolk, cook for 3-5 minutes.  Season the eggs with salt to taste, serve with whatever food you please and your meal is done.

Bon Appétit

Easy egg recipes

These days I was reading one old book I love. It is a book that helped me a lot and I often tend to reread it. It is a book by Janette Rainwater – YOU ARE IN CHARGE! While I was reading some chapters the idea came to me that it is impossible to live a happy life and go on with your life if you are unable to forgive yourself first.

In this book Janette talks about two very important questions – What is happening right now – in this present moment? The second question is – What do I want in this new moment?

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How to forgive yourself and finally live the life you deserve.

To be precise she talks about awareness and put an accent on it. This is something every therapist will ask you. Every therapist knows how important awareness is. I recommend you to read The First Step Toward Change if you are on a journey of personal growth and development.

Also, check How To Live In The Present Moment if you want to find some mindfulness exercises.

I always ask myself these two questions. The first one brings me the awareness I need. What is happening in this present moment?

Something I noticed in myself and many clients, friends, or colleagues, is that one of the hardest things to do is to forgive themselves. And how can I except to grow and develop if I can’t forgive myself and go on with my life? How to be happy and positive if there is something in me that is not giving me a peace of mind.

Everyone makes mistakes, but why do we forget that when we are the “sinners”? When is the last time when you have forgiven someone or didn’t even judge him?

Why it is so much easier to forgive others?

Why it’s so much easier to forgive other people, but not yourself? You don’t have big expectations from others, but you do have from yourself. You expect to be perfect, to please others, to be a good person etc. Also, you were raised to have all those expectations and also to be “a good child”. If you don’t listen to your parents orders – they will be mad at you.

This “problem” has roots in childhood and it is perfectly fine.

How To Forgive Yourself

Why is important to forgive yourself in order to go on with your life?

If the first step toward change is awareness, then the second is acceptance. And did you accept if you didn’t forgive yourself? No! Acceptance is forgiveness.

Your past is not important. The only thing that is important is what kind of a person your past made you.

You are not what you did in your past. Remember that you did what you thought was best at that time.

When you are aware of things and accept how they are – you will have the power to change them! When you take the responsibility in your hand you can change everything.

Please don’t judge yourself! Judging won’t lead you anywhere. If I judged myself for my mistakes I wouldn’t rise and stand on my feet. Remember – we are doing the best we know at the moment. There is NO if I go back in time. There is NO what IF! Just be aware, accept and take responsibility.

When you take the responsibility you already have that second chance. Now is the time to be a better person and to forgive everyone. But first -yourself.

You are in charge

First thing you should remember is that you are in charge of your feelings and thoughts. You are in charge of your life and only you can make the decision to move on with your life and live the life you deserve. This is why I mentioned the book from Janette Rainwater. It is a great book to start the journey.

Eliminate the negative beliefs

If you are in charge of your life then you are the only one who can eliminate the negative beliefs in your life. No, you are not a bad person for making a mistake. One reason why religion is good is because it promotes forgiveness. Try to eliminate all the negative beliefs and every thought that stand between you and your dream life.

Remember that you are worthy and just like everyone else you make mistakes and learn from them. Your past is not important. The only thing that is important is what kind of a person your past made you.

Do the best you can in the moment

You always do the best you can in the present moment. You didn’t know better back then, but you do now. So make sure you do something about that. Do you want to live a happy life or do you want to be stuck in your past? Accept that you can’t go back in time, but you can be in charge of your future.

Acknowledge the mistake out loud

Acknowledge your mistake or mistakes if there is more than one that you can’t forgive. It is easier when you acknowledge your “mistakes”. Write them down. How did it happen? Why did it happen? Writing down what happened is a great thing you can do to be more objective and remember what happened. Even better, write from a third party. Identify the biggest mistakes.

Love yourself

Is there someone more important in this whole world than you? No! And if there is then something isn’t right. You are most important and bear in mind that you should always love yourself first before you love anyone else. We often forget to show some love and if you are on a self-growth journey then you must love yourself.

Check Why It’s So Hard To Love Yourself

“I am worthy, loved, smart, gentle, beautiful, happy. “

Don’t forget to say to yourself all those things and many, many more.

Right and wrong change

In the past, people believed in many Gods. After a while, they started to believe in one. Then another one, and then another one. Every single one of us believes in something else. Magic rituals were right and good in the past, now are bad and wrong. Right and wrong change! Think deeper. Maybe after all, your mistake is not a mistake. If you can understand all those people believing in different things and thinking that they are “the right one” why not to forgive yourself and go on with your life. After all, it was the right thing at that moment.

What did you learn

What did you learn from your mistakes? If you are reading this post then you are already sorry and there must be something you learned from it. I will help you. You did learn not to make the same mistake again for sure. And there must be at least one more thing you learned from your mistake. A child learns to walk while falling and crawling and pulling. In order to start walking a child must make mistakes. Maybe you are not aware of what you already learned so give yourself some time to process. Write it down. Words have more meaning when written.

Seek professional help 

If you did every step and you still feel bad and can’t forgive yourself, please, seek professional help. Don’t hesitate. Don’t lose precious time. You only live once so live the best life you can. You will feel great and forgive yourself much easier.

Of course, there are more ways to forgive yourself and I believe that every person is different and have different needs, goals, and wishes. You can always find more ways to succeed and reach your goal no matter what. The most important thing is to forgive yourself and finally live the life you deserve.

Stay Positive!

How to forgive yourself and live the life you deserve. Learn why it's so hard to forgive and how to do it. Don't stand on your way to success and happiness.